Did you know that from September to November, suicide rates are statistically at their highest? It’s a heart-breaking reality that no one is immune from—these tragedies don’t just happen to strangers. Too often, families are left saying, “No one expected this.” The person who seemed fine on the outside, smiling and putting up a brave front, was struggling behind closed doors.

Today I am sharing my trauma from years ago when I did not yet know how to perceive the dangerous signs of the inner struggle of a depressed person. I want to share my knowledge with you to avoid a repeat of the tragedy that we went through as a family with the tragic suicide of my older brother.

You can help prevent this by doing three critical things:

WATCH, ASK, and LISTEN.

# LOOK: Be Aware of the Signs

In today’s world, people are dealing with job loss, financial pressure, family issues, work stress, academic struggles, and a range of emotional upheavals. Some of these challenges are as obvious as a ticking time bomb, while others are deeply hidden, and require a sixth sense to detect.

Being observant can save a life. These are red flags that something may be deeply wrong.

Watch for signs like:

• Social withdrawal or isolation
• Noticeable changes in behavior (unusually talkative, overly exuberant, or extremely down)
• Sudden emotional shifts: sadness, tearfulness, or persistent pessimism
• Negative thought patterns or expressions of hopelessness

# ASK: Start the Conversation

It’s not easy, but asking how someone is feeling can be the first step in preventing a tragedy. If you notice any concerning signs, reach out with gentle, open-ended questions:

• “How do you feel about the upcoming exam?”
• “You’ve been quiet lately; do you want to talk about something bothering you?”
• “It seems like you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders. Remember, I’m here for you, and we can get through this together.”

The goal is to open the door for them to express their emotions. Show empathy and avoid judgment. Your willingness to listen without rushing to conclusions may encourage them to share their inner struggles.

# LISTEN: Be Fully Present

When they do open up, listening is your most powerful tool. Please pay attention to the words they use. If they mention feeling overwhelmed, lost, or like they’re a burden, take it seriously. Words like “discouraged,” “what’s my purpose?” or “I’m letting everyone down” are cries for help. Phrases like “I don’t see a way out,” or mentioning substance abuse, are major red flags.

Resist the urge to offer quick solutions or dismiss their feelings. Instead, ask: “How can I support you?” or “What would make things feel a little lighter right now?” Sometimes, just being a shoulder to lean on is enough. Other times, arranging professional help might be necessary.

No one expects these tragedies until it’s too late. By simply WATCHING, ASKING, and LISTENING, you can play a critical role in someone’s life. With suicide, the warning signs are often there, waiting for someone to notice. Let’s break the silence around mental health and create a culture of compassion, where asking for help is not seen as a weakness but as a vital step toward healing.

Remember that professional support is only a phone call away.

Dr Leonora de Villiers

082 497 3765