You are more than your bank balance

Finding calm in a season of pressure

“Our worth is not measured by our bank balance.”

It is only the beginning of November, yet the pressure of the festive season may already be building. Christmas adverts fill our screens, shops are packed with gifts, and conversations turn to holiday plans: a trip to the coast, a road trip or a family getaway. Meanwhile, you may be sitting at the kitchen table working through the numbers and wondering how you will make it through to January.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. For many South Africans, the festive season can bring financial worry rather than excitement. You may feel anxious, struggle to sleep or compare your circumstances with the celebrations you see around you. These feelings are understandable. Financial pressure can affect anyone, and struggling does not mean that you have failed.

As the year-end rush approaches, here are six reminders that may help you care for your emotional wellbeing while navigating a financially demanding time of year.

1. Feeling overwhelmed: when might you need extra support?

Feeling worried, disappointed or sad when money is tight is a natural response to a difficult situation. Sometimes, however, distress begins to affect everyday life more significantly. It may be worth reaching out for support if you notice that:

• low mood or worry persists or feels increasingly difficult to manage;
• your sleep, appetite, concentration or energy have changed noticeably;
• you are withdrawing from people or activities that usually matter to you;
• you feel persistently hopeless, numb, tense or overwhelmed.

These experiences do not mean that you are weak. They may be signs that you could benefit from support. You do not need to wait until things feel unbearable, or for a particular amount of time to pass, before speaking to a professional. A conversation with a psychologist can help you make sense of what you are experiencing and explore ways to cope.

2. Make your emotional wellbeing part of the plan

At this time of year, many of us carefully plan for groceries, fuel, school expenses and gifts, while our emotional wellbeing slips to the bottom of the list. Yet stress can affect how we think, make decisions, relate to others and manage daily responsibilities.

Looking after yourself does not have to mean spending money. It might mean setting realistic expectations, taking a short walk, protecting time for rest, talking honestly with someone you trust or making a plan for the expenses you can control. Your wellbeing matters, even when your budget is stretched.

3. Notice what is still meaningful in your life

Festive advertising and social media can draw our attention to what we do not have. If you can, pause and notice what remains meaningful to you: supportive relationships, skills you have developed, moments of kindness, or small routines that help you feel grounded.

This is not about pretending that financial difficulties do not matter or forcing yourself to feel grateful. You can be genuinely worried about money and still find comfort in parts of your life that matter to you. Both can be true at the same time.

4. Acknowledge how far you have come

Think back to the beginning of the year. You may have faced unexpected expenses, difficult decisions or responsibilities that other people never see. Perhaps you paid what you could, adjusted your plans or found ways to keep going during a demanding period.

You do not have to describe the year as a success to recognise the effort it took to get through it. Give yourself credit for the decisions you have made and the challenges you have navigated. Progress can look different from one person to the next.

5. Give in ways that do not depend on money

Celebrating does not have to mean buying expensive gifts. A thoughtful message, a phone call, a shared meal made with what you already have, or time spent listening can be meaningful ways to show someone that you care.

Choose gestures that feel manageable for you, rather than adding another obligation to an already stressful season. Connection and shared experiences can help us feel less alone, and they do not need to come with a large price tag.

6. Reach out before the pressure becomes too much

December can bring a mix of financial demands, family expectations and feelings of loneliness. If you know this time of year is difficult for you, consider what support might help before the pressure builds: speak to someone you trust, discuss realistic plans with your family, or seek professional support.

You do not need to have all the answers before asking for help. You also do not have to manage everything on your own. Taking one small step towards support can be enough to begin.

Let’s talk

Everyone’s circumstances are different, and there is no single solution to financial stress. If you are feeling overwhelmed, discouraged or unlike yourself this festive season, you are welcome to get in touch. We can talk through what you are experiencing and consider what support may be helpful.

Call or WhatsApp: 082 497 3765
Website: www.leonoradevilliers.co.za
Practice: Roodepoort

Dr Leonora de Villiers
Psychologist